


I Know It Breaks Your Heart

by blueberrynikiforovv



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: ANNNNDDD, Alternate Universe, Angst, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Lovers to Friends, M/M, Out of Character, Past Drug Use, Past Relationship(s), Past Underage Sex, REALLY OOC IMSORRY, Smoking, also tags for future chapters, for future chapters too !!!!!!!!!!, pls ... .. .. . .., there will be smut later on just be patient, will make sense later on trust me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 10:46:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10014200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueberrynikiforovv/pseuds/blueberrynikiforovv
Summary: 《 You said 'was' so... How many people have you felt interested in ever since we broke up? You were always luckier than me in that aspect, you must have made somebody like you and get to something else with them. 》《 I... Never forgot you, Yuri. We broke up, yeah, but I never forgot how I felt about you. No matter how much I tried, you were the only one I liked. 》After many years without contact, Otabek and Yuri manage to meet again, now with 22 and 20 years respectively.They both talk about their failed relationship, and slowly begin to notice that the chemistry was always there, and now they have the age to try and make it work out, contrary to their first try at relationships, which ended with broken hearts and the reason of their loss of contact.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i'll probably reread this in the morning and correct anything if necessary sry its almost 2 am and im dead dont sue me

Yuri found himself almost in the middle of a crowd of people he didn't know and didn't feel interest in doing so, with a drink on his left hand and his index finger from his right hand lightly tapped the table of the bar impatiently.

He ended up in a hotel thanks to an old 'friend' from university, one of the very few people who talked to him in the year he spent in his career before abandoning it because he did not like the career or the atmosphere of the university. That 'friend' walked away about half an hour ago to go with a group of people to do god knows what.

The place smelled like a mix of alcohol, smoke from cigarettes and something that Yuri could not tell what it was. It wasn't some out-of-control-crazy party with drugs and sex and loud music until the next day, just one with enough access for people to get the fun stuff. Even so, in a rather fancy place with a party full of foolish university students doing their thing, Yuri felt really out of place, and he didn't want to talk bad things about the people around him because they were all probably normal people who just wanted to have a little fun, nothing too bad. Yuri knew how all that felt, now that he was 20 years old.

As he thought about the things around him, he felt the man working at the bar, who looked clearly tired and probably just wanted to go away, talk to him.

Yuri lifted his head, not knowing when he had started looking at the ground, that was his 'answer'.

The old man gave him a drink, and said that is was from a 'gentleman who was sitting a few metres away from him' as he pointed to the right. The man walked away quickly and Yuri looked down at the drink. He did not feel like drinking it, though. He looked at the direction the old bar man pointed and saw a face that he knew he had seen before, and with that he noticed that he was very obvious because who he was looking at noticed him staring, and as awkward as it was, Yuri felt a rush of memories appearing in his mind.

That was Otabek Altin, one of his friends, not to mention one of the first ones he ever had. He was only two years older than Yuri, and not only he was one of the first people who Yuri ever considered a friend, he was also many other 'first' things for the blond.

When Yuri was almost seventeen, they tried dating for a while. Nothing too serious, mostly two guys going out to try and see how it was to be with somebody of their same gender.

They broke up a few months afterwards, and said that even so, they would still be in contact as friends, like how they were at the beginning. This did not happen, because they started losing contact after one or two months, their texts became less frecuent until they became nonexistant by the time Yuri had just turned eighteen.

Yuri greeted Otabek with his right hand awkwardly. Was there a non-awkward way to greet your first boyfriend who you dated when you were sixteen -almost seventeen- who only worked for giving you validation and dick every once in a while? That sounded crude, but Yuri was not the nicest person back then, and while he would not call what he did 'manipulation' as others would, he would say it was only him being immature and hormonal. Thank goodness he moved away from that phase of only wanting attention and dick, now he still liked dick, but did not mind attention as much. He became cheesier and was thinking about how would actually feeling love felt like.

Otabek greeted him back. Yuri wasn't sure whether to be happy or upset by the fact that there wasn't many people between them.

Yuri was wondering why and how they managed to find each other there out of all places, but the small but noticeable feeling of happiness was distracting him. He really wanted to go and talk to Otabek, maybe update him with everything that had happened ever since they lost contact, or maybe listen to what Otabek has to say about his own life.

Without noticing he stood up and walked in direction to Otabek, with his drink on hand, and took the seat next to him.

Otabek was looking at him, his usual stoic expression changed to a surprised one as he saw Yuri sit down next to him. "Long time no see, Yuri."

Yuri was thankful Otabek decided to start the conversation because he realized he walked to him with no topic in mind. God, Yuri was sure he looked like the whitest-straightest-12-year-old-american-boy-trying-to-talk-to-the-pretty-girl-in-the-class-stereotype because of how clueless he felt. He was 20 years old talking to an old friend, for god's sake, why did he start acting like he was 12?

"Yeah... How have you been?" Yuri asked as he took a sip of his drink. It was a small one, with one sip he already drank a third of it.

"Not much has changed, I moved away from my family, tried to think about what to do with my life and fail at it, nothing too interesting."

"Oh, that's, uh... Relatable." Another sip.

"And you?"

"I still live with my grandpa, if that's enough information."

"He's still alive?"

"Yeah, he's still kickin' ass."

The silence fell between them, if that's what they could call it. They shut up but the music and loud conversations happening around them did not qualify as silence at all.

Yuri looked at Otabek. "If you're not with somebody here, wanna go outside or something?"

"Yeah, let's go." Yuri said as he took the last sip of his drink and just left it there because he didn't care enough.

They decided to awkwardly exit the building, they decided to be with each other since they were practically alone inside with nothing interesting to do. The air was hot and heavy inside the hotel, but the outside had a really low temperature, so they both felt the cold air hitting them the moment they stepped outside.

It wasn't very late, probably around midnight or maybe even earlier, and there were still some places and cars lighting up the street, where a few people walked by.

They decided to seat on a bench on the street to keep talking there.

"So..." Yuri said.

"So...?"

"Uh, sorry if this sounds mean but how were you able to find me here of all places?"

"I don't know, just happened. I still don't know how you were here, you're too young."

"I'm only a couple years younger, it's not like I'm a baby."

"It isn't?" Otabek said in a mocking tone.

Otabek smiled as he saw Yuri sigh, trying to contain his annoyance. _He did mature a little bit_ he thought.

Yuri cleared his throat before speaking again. "I actually was hanging out with this random guy from college, but he kinda left me alone to... I don't know, do his thing, I guess."

"Won't he get worried if he doesn't find you?"

"Pretty sure he's fine with this group of guys, I don't care and I'm sure he doesn't either. He left me alone, and if he wants to know where I am he can just text me and I'll tell him I'm gonna do the same thing he did and go spend some time with somebody else."

"Aren't you salty."

"Some things have not changed, Otabek." Yuri said, smiling. Yeah, he did get mature. Well, not 'mature', maybe just nicer, he did not hate people as much anymore... And controlled his anger better, now he didn't just kick people because he felt like it.

Yuri remembered their failed relationship, and he spoke again without even thinking about it twice. "Do you remember when we tried dating?"

Otabek almost choked on his saliva, but managed to stay cool and answer in a matter of seconds. "Yeah, what's with it?"

"Just wanted to know if you did. I was such a fetus back then, I was really needy for attention."

"I know, and thank goodness nobody made me get in trouble for dating an underage boy."

"I was seventeen, I was almost a legal adult."

"You had quite the babyface, though. And you were sixteen when we started, only a month before your seventeenth birthday."

"Oh, yeah, right..."

"I was nineteen, I'm sure people would have called me a 'gross grown-ass man' for dating a boy who was underage and had the face of a little boy."

"Don't insult my babyface, Otabek, I'm proud to have it because thanks to it I'll look 30 by the time I'm 50."

"You sure will." There was the mocking tone again.

Yuri fell quiet for a few seconds, wondering if he should continue talking about their past wannabe-relationship or changing topic. He thought talking about something else was better, but Otabek did not seem affected by talking about what happened.

He decided to ask a few final questions before changing topic.

"Since it was mostly your idea to try dating..." Yuri said, his voice almost threatening to give out. He took a deep breath before continuing the question. The two seconds it took him to do that were enough to make Otabek show a surprised expression again. "Why did you want to do that? I know you've had partners before, why would you want to date me back then?"

"Yuri, you want to go _there_?"

Yuri nodded.

He saw Otabek swallow saliva, looking slightly distressed. How could if be that one of the very few times Yuri managed to see Otabek like that was almost 5 years after they met?

"It's kind of strange, I don't want to make you angry or anything."

"Tell me. I prefer to know what it actually was rather than just wondering and overthinking for years."

"I was in love with you, Yuri."

Yuri felt cold run through his body, starting from his chest and going all the way to his head, legs and hands. He felt paralized for some reason.

He had a couple of people confess to him before this, why was he getting so affected over this one certain confession?

Yuri also swallowed saliva as he thought what he was about to say over and over in his head. _When did I become this anxious?_ he wondered.

"You said 'was' so... How many people have you felt interested in ever since we broke up? You were always luckier than me in that aspect, you must have made somebody like you and get to something else with them.

"I... Never forgot you, Yuri. We broke up, yeah, but I never forgot how I felt about you." he paused. "No matter how much I tried, you were the only one I liked."

Yuri was still paralized, now he really wanted to change the topic.

"Ok, now that was cheesy."

"You know I was always kinda cheesy."

"What a romantic you are. If I didn't know you well I would never know that."

"You're lucky, Yuri."

They both giggled, acting as if Yuri's best friend hadn't just confessed five seconds ago.

But Yuri couldn't bring himself to mind that, he felt strange for a second, yeah, but now he started to just don't mind it. He did not mind if it was Otabek.

"So uh... Wanna go somewhere else? I don't think there's much to do outside a hotel with a shitty party inside so..." Yuri said.

Otabek nodded and smiled, they both walked away to find some place to spend the time. In their way Yuri took out his cellphone to write a message to his college buddy.

> hey you still in there?
> 
> _yeah, probably gonna take some time, you're not bored right?_
> 
> nah i'm ok. you know what? i'll go now, i met with an old friend and stuff, i don't think i have much to do there by myself
> 
> _sure you gonna go somewhere else?_
> 
> ya hope you don't mind.
> 
> _ no not at all, you do you! take care yuri! _

Yuri smiled as he left his phone on his pocket again and smiled as he saw Otabek looking at him.

"Just sending the guy a text, don't worry."

"Oh, alright. For a moment I thought something happened."

"You worry too much, Otabek." Yuri said as he quickly walked to Otabek's side. Wow, how out of character.

They ended up going to Otabek's favorite café that apparently never closed because surprisingly enough it was still open. They really needed to catch up with everything. 

**Author's Note:**

> twitter
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> i'm sorry for how ooc this is....,,,,  
> don't mind me i just really wanted to make sure yuri drank his glass of whatever the fucc it was  
> also trust me it gets better than this,,,


End file.
